Lord, carry me on

Life marches on.  Sometimes it's the most enjoyable ever and sometimes it's the most difficult thing I've ever done.

The moments when I am preparing dinner and get to watch life from afar . . . . the kids playing together, conversations, problems solved, problems created.  I try to draw those moments in and not let go.  Like now--Jordyn spreading Playdoh paraphernalia all over my computer while I'm trying to type.  It's annoying but delightful.

Then there are moments of pure, carnal survival.  Get dinner on the table, eat, clean, to bed.  Quickly.  Before I kill someone.  This usually happens when Trent is on the road and I'm losing steam.  Say, night three of herding four children.

And today--Medicaid transport decided to not show up to get L and take her to part 3 of 4 for a neuropsych evaluation.  Trent was home from his work trip at 12:30 a.m. and decided to stay home for the morning.  Luckily he took Morgan to ballet while I took L to her neuropsych eval.  And L was feeling a little insecure so I went in with her while they did the testing.  That was weird and interesting.  Needless to say I can't wait to see what the results say; to get some sort of diagnosis that can lead us to better parent her will be helpful.

Last weekend we had a birthday party for L at the local's version of Chuckie Cheese.  With the bio parents there and the last set of foster parents where her sisters are currently.  It went as well as it possibly could but still awkward.

At her 5th birthday party

And finally, our church had a pastor candidate come and preach.  It went well and it was refreshing to be 'preached at'.  We didn't make it to the Q & A that evening but have heard mixed reports.  We'll see.  

I'm trying to meet with a couple gals for mentorship/accountability.  I'm excited simply about the prospect of this working out . . . . . I'm only suspicious that neither of them drink.  In Washington this just was unthinkable that you wouldn't sit down for a glass of wine with someone.  Just kidding.  It's just not along my 'normal' lines.  It'll be good for me . . .

Mentoring and transitions

We had an awesome holiday time and now, spoiled as we are, an awesome vacation.  L went to respite and one night stayed with her sisters in her original foster home.  There is a tiny bit of guilt in not taking her with us but the logical, sensible side knows she can't even handle going out to eat, so to take her on a trip would be a disservice to her.  She wouldn't succeed and none of us would have fun.

So, we took a much needed break to San Diego.  It was the best trip we've taken as a family with children.  It was relaxing and fun and we didn't try to squeeze too much out of each day. Just took it as it came and it went great!!  We ended up at SeaWorld one day and the beach the rest.  Perfect in my book.

L's mom has been doing her part to get her children back.  We talk on the phone at least once at week at length.  She says she's never seen L so mentally healthy and wants to know everything we're doing.  This week when we spoke I could sense some of the fear in getting L back because she has been so uncontrollable.  Soon L will be going to her mom's apartment for the weekends and back to our home during the week.  This will probably continue until school is out for the summer.  The case manager has mentioned mentoring and her mom would really like me to mentor her.  Others have really warned us against this because you become to 'vested' and it can become frustrating when things don't go like you envisioned.

This view on mentoring makes sense but doesn't strike me as a 'Christian' decision, if I may. Is that really our worldview??  "Don't want to get too invested in these people because I might show them a bit of Light and Salt."  Now, there needs to be some really hard and fast boundaries but goodness sakes, I'm being handed the opportunity to show some love and I think there is a duty to do it.  So hopefully, we find a middle ground somewhere and I can help, but not enable or be held responsible if her parenting doesn't hold up.

And in other news, Trent and I have resorted to going to a Sunday School class instead of church service.  The class is so good and the teacher is such a good leader AND teacher that it's hard to pass up the biggest opportunity we have to learn and be discipled.  Next week we have a pastoral candidate to preach.  As Trent says, may he have survived 1993 and may he not be from Idaho Falls.  Uggg.

Survivor

We have had whatever ailing bug has been going around this countryside.  I'm tired of it.  Sick of it, literally.  It's so frustrating to be so sick for so long.  Thankfully today was the first day of school and head start AND the first day I've felt well enough to do anything beyond the basics.

When you're used to four kids and you have three hours with only two, it's almost like you've won the lottery.  Especially when one child clinically probably counts as three.  Goodness sakes.

The good news: we survived Christmas with flying colors.  L (foster child) did so well.  She had some issues the few days after Christmas but the day of Christmas she was so happy, thankful, happy for others.  It was great to watch and see and for everyone to have a great day.  She really has made some progress since being here.  She's still a great disruption to our household but so much better than when she arrived.  Keep praying--it has to be so hard to start attaching yourself to a foster mom but miss your bio mom like crazy.  Your heart is in two places but your body is stuck in one.  There's a part of her that knows it's better for her to be at our home until her mom is healthy but she still doesn't like it.  And that's OK.

Our beloved neighbor Ethel Ann passed away at the great age of 89.  To think I only knew her for 1/89th of her life!!  She was wonderful and so active at such an old age.  I was able to go to her service; of course at the 5th ward in Iona.  My first LDS funeral.  It was a great service and not too long.  Probably much thanks to the fact her husband is 92 and wouldn't last through any longer service than they had.  She was a spunky lady with tons of personality--no wonder I loved her so much.

We survived the holidays.  Only part of the Christmas cards were mailed.  The other are sitting in a pile waiting to be assembled.  Some day.  Maybe Valentines??