Indefinite respite for LJ continues at our home. We received an e-mail last week from her CASA stating she would be with us through the new year. To make things clear, we had agreed to keep her for as long as possible if her sisters stay at a nearby foster home. But we really had not planned on Christmas. Or New Years.
I've done respite enough in Washington to know how foster kids destroy holidays. Christmas is hard on traumatized kids and try to wreck it for everyone. So I as I read the e-mail she was staying, I felt the tears come. I needed a new frame of mind and quickly. The pitiful side of me thought 'my Christmas is over'. The stubborn side of me thought 'I can do this!'. At worst she will have a raging tantrum all day (which she has proven capable of) and make at least one of us miserable (the one stuck dealing with her). At best, she might be distracted by the festivities and make it through. She seems to have no attachment to Christmas and no traditions so we might not fare too badly.
Then I thought about the spirit of Christmas. What is it really about? The presents? The tradition? My family? Not really . . . . it's about Jesus and what he did for us. He in all of his glory and splendor decided to condescend to us. The broken ones. The pitiful ones. It's like something valuable and shiny and beautiful getting shoved into a pile of stinky trash. And he chose this path knowing what was going to happen. He willingly gave up his glory to come to us.
Maybe . . . Possibly . . . . like giving up a Christmas and giving it to God.
"This is yours Lord. I want it bad. I want the whole thing for myself but since it's yours, I'm giving up control and giving it back. Do what you want with it. If it turns out bad, so be it. If it turns out great, so be it. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."
Obedience is messy. Surrender is messy. Community is messy. But Jesus makes it perfect when it's all about Him.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Monday, December 1, 2014
Merry Christmas
It's been two months since a post! Holy Moses. Lots is happening around here.
There was nothing and then . . . holidays, foster kiddos, putting the house/garden to bed for winter . . . . go, go, go. Getting the house ready for winter took more time than we had thought. Or at least I finally admitted defeat and told Trent he had to take some time off work so we could get it all done. So he graciously did and in the time of two days, we had most of it tackled. Good thing because precisely 6 days after the sprinklers got blown out there was 6" of snow on the ground.
Our latest news is: church stuff and one extra kid. We'll start with the extra kid.
What began as 'emergency respite' has turned into 'indefinite respite'. I knew about the foster care phone calls when they say 'this placement will just be a week or two' and then six months later you still have the child. But, I've never heard of respite turning into long-term. This 4-yr-old has been interesting and definitely has taken all of our free time to corral her and teach her how to control herself. Not that we've accomplished that in three weeks but it seems a tad bit better. We've gotten more of the history in the last few days and my stomach turned. The possibilities are disgusting and explains this child's want to control everyone and everything in her path.
In the process I've learned how great my kids are. I didn't like to brag before, but now, I'm bragging. My kids are awesome. They deal with this disruption in our household like troopers. Only Morgan has gotten a little off kilter but she's starting to understand a little more, too. Jordyn cracks me up because her 6th sense has kicked in and keeps her distance from the foster child. I caught her sneaking up behind LJ (foster kiddo) and grabbing her (Jordyn's) blanket and yelling 'Mine!' at her. It's the first time I'd heard her say that word. Trent and I are trying to focus on the circumstances surrounding why she's in foster care because if we didn't, we'd be frustrated with LJ's behavior all the time and it would be hard to love her. Prayers surrounding her would be great. I believe her battle is primarily spiritual and secondarily pathological.
Church:
We had a reach out event to the LDS community and it was awesome. The most people our church has ever had in its sanctuary. It was encouraging.
Not so encouraging: no pastor. It will soon be a year that we've been without a pastor. It's hard. There's no vision, no hiring of staff (worship pastor resigned long ago and has never been replaced). Then I tried out for the worship team. The most disorganized mess I've witnessed for what was supposed to be 'auditions'. And since that time I've concluded I don't think I want to be a part of the worship team anyhow. It's a very cliquey group and the same family has been in charge for years. One new person is not going to change that, especially with no direction from leadership. So, 1990 Maranatha songs live on.
I continue to meet with the Mormon missionaries each week when our schedule allows. It's a fun and sometimes frustrating time. I love the gals but they view the Bible through their LDS lenses and it's hard for them to see God's Truth. Pray for me to keep speaking Truth in a kind, clear, concise manner! I invited them to the outreach event and they were simply aghast!! They were disappointed in me and I didn't hear from them for a week so I thought I'd completely offended them. Then after the event was over they resurfaced and text me back :)
Still missing old friends and especially our old church . . . . .
There was nothing and then . . . holidays, foster kiddos, putting the house/garden to bed for winter . . . . go, go, go. Getting the house ready for winter took more time than we had thought. Or at least I finally admitted defeat and told Trent he had to take some time off work so we could get it all done. So he graciously did and in the time of two days, we had most of it tackled. Good thing because precisely 6 days after the sprinklers got blown out there was 6" of snow on the ground.
Our latest news is: church stuff and one extra kid. We'll start with the extra kid.
What began as 'emergency respite' has turned into 'indefinite respite'. I knew about the foster care phone calls when they say 'this placement will just be a week or two' and then six months later you still have the child. But, I've never heard of respite turning into long-term. This 4-yr-old has been interesting and definitely has taken all of our free time to corral her and teach her how to control herself. Not that we've accomplished that in three weeks but it seems a tad bit better. We've gotten more of the history in the last few days and my stomach turned. The possibilities are disgusting and explains this child's want to control everyone and everything in her path.
In the process I've learned how great my kids are. I didn't like to brag before, but now, I'm bragging. My kids are awesome. They deal with this disruption in our household like troopers. Only Morgan has gotten a little off kilter but she's starting to understand a little more, too. Jordyn cracks me up because her 6th sense has kicked in and keeps her distance from the foster child. I caught her sneaking up behind LJ (foster kiddo) and grabbing her (Jordyn's) blanket and yelling 'Mine!' at her. It's the first time I'd heard her say that word. Trent and I are trying to focus on the circumstances surrounding why she's in foster care because if we didn't, we'd be frustrated with LJ's behavior all the time and it would be hard to love her. Prayers surrounding her would be great. I believe her battle is primarily spiritual and secondarily pathological.
Church:
We had a reach out event to the LDS community and it was awesome. The most people our church has ever had in its sanctuary. It was encouraging.
Not so encouraging: no pastor. It will soon be a year that we've been without a pastor. It's hard. There's no vision, no hiring of staff (worship pastor resigned long ago and has never been replaced). Then I tried out for the worship team. The most disorganized mess I've witnessed for what was supposed to be 'auditions'. And since that time I've concluded I don't think I want to be a part of the worship team anyhow. It's a very cliquey group and the same family has been in charge for years. One new person is not going to change that, especially with no direction from leadership. So, 1990 Maranatha songs live on.
I continue to meet with the Mormon missionaries each week when our schedule allows. It's a fun and sometimes frustrating time. I love the gals but they view the Bible through their LDS lenses and it's hard for them to see God's Truth. Pray for me to keep speaking Truth in a kind, clear, concise manner! I invited them to the outreach event and they were simply aghast!! They were disappointed in me and I didn't hear from them for a week so I thought I'd completely offended them. Then after the event was over they resurfaced and text me back :)
Still missing old friends and especially our old church . . . . .
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Still running the race
It's been a hard week so far. I'm not sure why but some little things have been getting me down. Ironically, Bible Study is the most difficult. The course of going each week and trying to make friends and sit by someone and make conversation . . . . so this week I pouted and sat by myself and no one sat by me or talked to me. It's so difficult. I shouldn't pout but some days I just don't have the energy to exert and make conversation and try.
When I have hard Tuesdays then I look forward to Wednesday mornings more! Wednesday mornings is missionary day. The sisters come and we talk, and talk. Somethings about nothing in particular. My neighbor still comes each time which is a huge blessing. She can hear more about what I believe and vice versa.
This week we talked about 'Words of Wisdom'. This is the revelation Joseph Smith received from Jesus about we shouldn't drink coffee. Clearly JS wasn't from Washington State. And we shouldn't drink alcohol or tea or take illegal drugs, etc. If you'd like to read the entire revelation you can look up Doctrine and Covenants 89. It's scripture for them you know.
At the end of the visit they challenged me with a week of living the Words of Wisdom. I was a little stupefied. Really?? You want me to give up coffee?? How far am I willing to go with this evangelism? I told them I would get back to them (I have their cell phone number and we text back and forth). So, I had my own little revelation from Jesus. If I give up coffee (and beer--not such a big deal), they have to read a chapter of the New Testament each day. Then we discuss what we read instead of their agenda. Agreed! So, here we go through Ephesians this week. Pray for my headache that is surely to come tomorrow morning. And pray for endurance. I feel like this move is starting to get me down again--going through a cycle of mourning.
Oh, and if you have time, please pray for our church who is still searching for a Senior Pastor. We have a short list that the elders is going over right now. Lord, speed up the search!! Give them wisdom!
When I have hard Tuesdays then I look forward to Wednesday mornings more! Wednesday mornings is missionary day. The sisters come and we talk, and talk. Somethings about nothing in particular. My neighbor still comes each time which is a huge blessing. She can hear more about what I believe and vice versa.
This week we talked about 'Words of Wisdom'. This is the revelation Joseph Smith received from Jesus about we shouldn't drink coffee. Clearly JS wasn't from Washington State. And we shouldn't drink alcohol or tea or take illegal drugs, etc. If you'd like to read the entire revelation you can look up Doctrine and Covenants 89. It's scripture for them you know.
The LDS library app has everything. However, they should check that everything is spelled correctly before they publish.
At the end of the visit they challenged me with a week of living the Words of Wisdom. I was a little stupefied. Really?? You want me to give up coffee?? How far am I willing to go with this evangelism? I told them I would get back to them (I have their cell phone number and we text back and forth). So, I had my own little revelation from Jesus. If I give up coffee (and beer--not such a big deal), they have to read a chapter of the New Testament each day. Then we discuss what we read instead of their agenda. Agreed! So, here we go through Ephesians this week. Pray for my headache that is surely to come tomorrow morning. And pray for endurance. I feel like this move is starting to get me down again--going through a cycle of mourning.
Oh, and if you have time, please pray for our church who is still searching for a Senior Pastor. We have a short list that the elders is going over right now. Lord, speed up the search!! Give them wisdom!
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Nephi and Galatians
Tomorrow morning the missionaries (I lovingly refer to them as 'the sisters'), myself and my neighbor will meet. I agreed to continue reading 1 Nephi (the first book of the B of Mormon) if they would agree to reading the book of Galatians. I just picked a short book of the Bible because I wanted to get them in the New Testament and read something in its entirety and not just cherry-picked verses. Then I smiled to myself when I began to read Galatians last week:
Chapter 1
Be praying for me Friday morning! I need all the help the Spirit can give :)
Chapter 1
6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.
10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Be praying for me Friday morning! I need all the help the Spirit can give :)
Friday, September 19, 2014
Woman on a mission
Today was my fifth meeting with the missionaries. They always bring one other person from the neighborhood so lately they've been bringing my neighbor and best friend. Last week I would have said they have sucked the life blood out of me. I was done. I was frustrated with the way they cherry pick Bible verses and use them however they like--usually out of context.
Since then I've had a trip to Washington and had some wisdom given to me from many friends. One mentioned if I start looking like a cartoon character sucked dry from a mosquito (reference: Far Side), stop meeting with them. Or if Trent sees that I am losing too much energy from this endeavor he needs to tell me to stop. It was freeing to hear that . . . even if this is my mission right now, I don't have to adhere to their schedule or any schedule at all.
I'd kind of felt like a failure last week because I couldn't address each of their cherry-picked verses they use to verify they are the only true church. So I thought I would meet one more time with a bit different approach and see how it went.
It went much better.
Today instead of focusing on what I was going to say, I just prayed. My time I spend to solely read the Bible I spent praying in between each chapter I read. I read one chapter of New Testament, two of Old Testament (histories or prophets), one of Psalms and one of Proverbs. But my focus was prayer and if I didn't finish my Bible reading that was OK (I didn't). The kids woke up before I completed the task but I felt prayed up. I had friends praying in WA too. I gave myself a lot more grace (because that's what Jesus did already) to not have to answer every question. My goal was to encourage them to read their Bibles with the eyes of a child, like they've never read it before. I agreed to read some of the Book of Mormon and in return we are ALL reading the book of Galatians. Fantastic. Mission accomplished. If we can point them to the Bible and have them see it is the perfect living and breathing Word of God, we are doing well.
AND, for the best news: I met another born again Christian right here in Iona. She goes to Bible Study Fellowship with me! She came out of the LDS religion so we are going to have lunch together next week. I felt like God just dropped someone straight down from the heavens in front of me. She is the crosswalk guard at Evan's school. Hallelujah! God is good.
And I'll leave you with 2 Timothy 4:1-5
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season;reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5 As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.
Since then I've had a trip to Washington and had some wisdom given to me from many friends. One mentioned if I start looking like a cartoon character sucked dry from a mosquito (reference: Far Side), stop meeting with them. Or if Trent sees that I am losing too much energy from this endeavor he needs to tell me to stop. It was freeing to hear that . . . even if this is my mission right now, I don't have to adhere to their schedule or any schedule at all.
I'd kind of felt like a failure last week because I couldn't address each of their cherry-picked verses they use to verify they are the only true church. So I thought I would meet one more time with a bit different approach and see how it went.
It went much better.
Today instead of focusing on what I was going to say, I just prayed. My time I spend to solely read the Bible I spent praying in between each chapter I read. I read one chapter of New Testament, two of Old Testament (histories or prophets), one of Psalms and one of Proverbs. But my focus was prayer and if I didn't finish my Bible reading that was OK (I didn't). The kids woke up before I completed the task but I felt prayed up. I had friends praying in WA too. I gave myself a lot more grace (because that's what Jesus did already) to not have to answer every question. My goal was to encourage them to read their Bibles with the eyes of a child, like they've never read it before. I agreed to read some of the Book of Mormon and in return we are ALL reading the book of Galatians. Fantastic. Mission accomplished. If we can point them to the Bible and have them see it is the perfect living and breathing Word of God, we are doing well.
AND, for the best news: I met another born again Christian right here in Iona. She goes to Bible Study Fellowship with me! She came out of the LDS religion so we are going to have lunch together next week. I felt like God just dropped someone straight down from the heavens in front of me. She is the crosswalk guard at Evan's school. Hallelujah! God is good.
And I'll leave you with 2 Timothy 4:1-5
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season;reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5 As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Quote
How many Bible verses can you come up with that refute this quote from the Book of Mormon? Trent and I figured you could probably find something from each book of the Bible that would contradict this. This quote is a featured page from the 'Plan of Salvation' booklet the missionaries gave me to study. Quite unbelievable.
Friday, September 5, 2014
A knock at the door
Finally! Missionaries at the door. And the truth is they only really wanted to visit our house so they could come inside and see it. But that's ok . . . . if our house is the draw for me to talk to them about Jesus and the gospel of grace, I'll take it.
They came yesterday evening for the first time and then invited themselves back and they were already here this morning. I made it very clear that these conversations would not end in baptism of me into the LDS church. They were fine with that and acted interested in what we believe.
They started this morning with their booklet 'The Plan of Salvation' which starts with pre-earth life. So, it took us one hour to go over two paragraphs of their booklet because I had lots of questions and then just wanted to direct it to the salvation plan. The classes we go to from Share the Son ministries instructs to keep it to the main point. Disregard polygamy, all the weird rules, temple garments, etc. Keep it to salvation and how you remove the stain of sin. Because really, that is the main point. I pray that a seed was planted before they left--I was very clear what I believed and didn't want there to be any question that I agreed with them--because I don't. LDS are very commandment driven and their salvation depends on it. I gave them the example of the criminal being crucified beside Christ. He didn't have any opportunity to obey any commandments but he did go to heaven. Jesus said he will see him in Paradise on that day. So how could he possibly go to heaven without keeping commandments? I got blank stares back from them. I'm in a bit of a quandary now because I'm meeting with them again and need to study up a little before I do but am going through Grudem's systematic theology course (without quizzes and tests at the end) and would rather study it instead. My time is limited . . . but God is faithful.
Here is one of the sister's illustration of salvation. Notice the stair steps to get out of the pit of sin to God. If you don't complete the stair steps, no enchilada.
They came yesterday evening for the first time and then invited themselves back and they were already here this morning. I made it very clear that these conversations would not end in baptism of me into the LDS church. They were fine with that and acted interested in what we believe.
They started this morning with their booklet 'The Plan of Salvation' which starts with pre-earth life. So, it took us one hour to go over two paragraphs of their booklet because I had lots of questions and then just wanted to direct it to the salvation plan. The classes we go to from Share the Son ministries instructs to keep it to the main point. Disregard polygamy, all the weird rules, temple garments, etc. Keep it to salvation and how you remove the stain of sin. Because really, that is the main point. I pray that a seed was planted before they left--I was very clear what I believed and didn't want there to be any question that I agreed with them--because I don't. LDS are very commandment driven and their salvation depends on it. I gave them the example of the criminal being crucified beside Christ. He didn't have any opportunity to obey any commandments but he did go to heaven. Jesus said he will see him in Paradise on that day. So how could he possibly go to heaven without keeping commandments? I got blank stares back from them. I'm in a bit of a quandary now because I'm meeting with them again and need to study up a little before I do but am going through Grudem's systematic theology course (without quizzes and tests at the end) and would rather study it instead. My time is limited . . . but God is faithful.
Here is one of the sister's illustration of salvation. Notice the stair steps to get out of the pit of sin to God. If you don't complete the stair steps, no enchilada.
Next week we will meet again. I invited my neighbor to participate. I have had a hard time finding a decent way to share my faith with her while still pointing out flaws in hers. And keeping a friendship that is dear to me. Next week will be an opportunity to do each of those things, for both of us. I'm sure the feeling is mutual for her.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)