We've had our foster care license for a while now with no phone calls. We had requested permanent placements just because we had done respite in Washington and as we had kids of our own it became more difficult. To us it would be easier to have a full-time placement and incorporate the child into our family instead of having just a 'special' weekend where you can't do anything special.
Suddenly, we are the respite people here. Uggg. It's hard and I know it's a need but it's still hard. This weekend was especially chaotic. Trent had a, well, minor operation and was laid up for Friday and probably the rest of this weekend. I have one extra 6-year-old that showed up Friday at 5 p.m. Friday at 6 p.m. I realize it's the foster child's birthday. TODAY. What?? I asked her 'What did you do for your birthday?'. 'Nothing' was the reply. 'Really?' 'Yeah. Grandma said we could celebrate on the 1st when she has money.' So, 1) her grandma did nothing for her (she just came from a 48-hr visit from grandma's) and 2) the foster parents made NO mention of this beforehand to us.
Friday night turned into a disaster. I was baking a cake while cooking/serving dinner when Evan leaves the table and vomits all over the laundry room floor. ALL over the floor. So now I have a baby crying in her high chair while trying to bake a cake and make sure everyone is still eating their dinner and a room full of vomit to pick up. I want to make a trip to Wal-mart to get Trent's prescriptions and get ice cream for the cake. I load up all four children at 7:40 p.m. (regardless of vomiting) to make a quick trip to the store. At 9:10 p.m. we finally have the medicine and ice cream and head for home. We are all so exhausted we just go to bed and the kids don't even complain they don't get cake and ice cream.
Saturday night Evan pukes three more times. I don't know what is wrong with him but I'm simply exhausted today.
I think the Lord keeps stretching me past my limits to make me realize I can't do this on my own. This isn't my life. It's His. If I keep living it like it's mine then I will lose my patience, lose the focus, and quit living for Jesus. Above all I want to point my kids to Christ. I want to live my life so it points to Christ--not say one thing and then do another. Days when there is vomit to clean while the baby is screaming is a little more difficult than others. But without those days I wouldn't learn much or rely on His strength instead of my own.
It's still only Saturday afternoon. I hope I make it through . . . . .
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Radical
Radical by David Platt
This book ticks me off. In a sarcastic kind of way. He makes Jesus seem so real and true, who wouldn't give up their life to follow Him? Really give up their life.
Our small group is reading this book and we are on the last chapter which of course, has lots of application. In it he suggests taking VBS out of the church and putting it in individual neighborhoods. Essentially taking Jesus to the world instead of expecting the world to show up on the church's doorstep asking about Jesus. Genius. Why didn't I think of that? And apparently there have been others that have already thought this because they have VBS curriculum's set up for backyards.
After trying to ignore God on this for a couple of days I was convicted that this was my next project. So, here we go. Trying to organize a small VBS in record time and trying to recruit volunteers. God is good, and bigger than my small VBS. Thank goodness. At the same time I was struggling if I should pursue this Trent was reading the book Good Call by Jace Robertson. Trent said after reading that book you will also be convicted that you should talking about Jesus to everyone and bringing Him to your neighborhood. This is our calling as Christians. No other options.
So, continue to pray that this project can be fleshed out in record time. By God's good grace (this was my affirmation that I should do this) our church had the exact curriculum I had found online to do this VBS. I called our children's pastor and he said, of course, he had something that would fit. I guess he tried to get people to use it last summer and no one really took the bait and ran with it.
Well, I'm running. Hopefully in the right direction.
This book ticks me off. In a sarcastic kind of way. He makes Jesus seem so real and true, who wouldn't give up their life to follow Him? Really give up their life.
Our small group is reading this book and we are on the last chapter which of course, has lots of application. In it he suggests taking VBS out of the church and putting it in individual neighborhoods. Essentially taking Jesus to the world instead of expecting the world to show up on the church's doorstep asking about Jesus. Genius. Why didn't I think of that? And apparently there have been others that have already thought this because they have VBS curriculum's set up for backyards.
After trying to ignore God on this for a couple of days I was convicted that this was my next project. So, here we go. Trying to organize a small VBS in record time and trying to recruit volunteers. God is good, and bigger than my small VBS. Thank goodness. At the same time I was struggling if I should pursue this Trent was reading the book Good Call by Jace Robertson. Trent said after reading that book you will also be convicted that you should talking about Jesus to everyone and bringing Him to your neighborhood. This is our calling as Christians. No other options.
So, continue to pray that this project can be fleshed out in record time. By God's good grace (this was my affirmation that I should do this) our church had the exact curriculum I had found online to do this VBS. I called our children's pastor and he said, of course, he had something that would fit. I guess he tried to get people to use it last summer and no one really took the bait and ran with it.
Well, I'm running. Hopefully in the right direction.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Filled with the Spirit
I was able to get out and go on a run (by myself!) a few days ago and it was like the Spirit rained down on me. With the help of my playlist, of course. But in the midst of it I had a minor revelation that my church isn't responsible for all of spiritual awakenings. And definitely not for one each and every Sunday. I'm responsible for that--at least making sure there is the opportunity for it to occur. One of the ways I can do that is to attend church each Sunday but the church can't be solely responsible.
I'm learning slowly but surely to draw closer to God during this time on my own. If Sunday doesn't grow me then I need to sit down at my computer and listen to a sermon where I can stretch and grow and be challenged. I need to play music myself and worship and pray. I need to listen to music where I can dance and sing. It may not be in a corporate body but at least I'm not stagnate.
The prayer is that if our church is not close to finding a viable pastoral candidate by September then we are going somewhere else. Whether it's going to a different church or starting another we aren't sure. We can help plant a church but obviously we can't do it on our own. We believe there is a huge hole here for a younger evangelical crowd. If I met a younger unchurched couple there isn't any church I could point them to. Maybe one but it's not even the one we attend.
Here's praying for the best . . . . .
Sunday, May 18, 2014
I dream of . . . .
Church planting. Mission work. Working at the mission. One good friend. Foster care.
There are many things I dream of . . . . covet? Sometimes I think it's not too much to ask for but at other times I feel very selfish. I know of so many others who have moved here with so much less. I know of others who are moving overseas soon and are purging their material life and what they know as home. I came with all my material things and with my husband's lucrative job which means I didn't have to purge a thing. I can afford a babysitter, a gym membership and other items that are considered luxuries for some. But still with all the 'things' of this world what I really long for is a church family who loves Jesus and the Church as much as we do. I admit a lot of arrogance when we moved here thinking finding a good church would be easy. It hasn't been. Organizational leadership is lacking. People whose hearts are really committed to missions are hard to find. And trying to find a friend through all of this is hard. It's only been six months and usually good friends are a few years in coming, I know.
We are praying fervently for a new pastor for our church we call home here. We fasted on Friday with the church while we prayed. We really need a great pastor with a great vision for this congregation and thus, this area. If we don't find it, I will be desperately dreaming of church planting. Which I don't think my husband can handle at this point. I probably can't either but at this point I feel the Lord tugging me hard in this direction. Thank God for sermons on the internet in the interim.
Other things in my life:
--We received our foster care license for the State of Idaho. We could receive a phone call at any point asking us to house children. Right now our license is for up to two children ages 0-6.
--We toured the Mission this week in downtown Idaho Falls to see what opportunities there are for volunteering.
--The garden is growing!! My peas are up and I transplanted 18 tomatoes; probably 3 weeks too early but we'll see. I have two big compost piles and have mulched the entire garden with grass cuttings. We have asked the elderly neighbor if we can use her garden space to plant sweet corn. Since it's right beside our garden and she isn't using it I figured it would be better if we can get corn in there and shade out the weeds than having a garden of weeds. We'll see--I might have just created a lot more work for myself.
I will post more pictures soon. I need to figure this blogging thing out . . . I still don't know how people make theirs look so beautiful.
There are many things I dream of . . . . covet? Sometimes I think it's not too much to ask for but at other times I feel very selfish. I know of so many others who have moved here with so much less. I know of others who are moving overseas soon and are purging their material life and what they know as home. I came with all my material things and with my husband's lucrative job which means I didn't have to purge a thing. I can afford a babysitter, a gym membership and other items that are considered luxuries for some. But still with all the 'things' of this world what I really long for is a church family who loves Jesus and the Church as much as we do. I admit a lot of arrogance when we moved here thinking finding a good church would be easy. It hasn't been. Organizational leadership is lacking. People whose hearts are really committed to missions are hard to find. And trying to find a friend through all of this is hard. It's only been six months and usually good friends are a few years in coming, I know.
We are praying fervently for a new pastor for our church we call home here. We fasted on Friday with the church while we prayed. We really need a great pastor with a great vision for this congregation and thus, this area. If we don't find it, I will be desperately dreaming of church planting. Which I don't think my husband can handle at this point. I probably can't either but at this point I feel the Lord tugging me hard in this direction. Thank God for sermons on the internet in the interim.
Other things in my life:
--We received our foster care license for the State of Idaho. We could receive a phone call at any point asking us to house children. Right now our license is for up to two children ages 0-6.
--We toured the Mission this week in downtown Idaho Falls to see what opportunities there are for volunteering.
--The garden is growing!! My peas are up and I transplanted 18 tomatoes; probably 3 weeks too early but we'll see. I have two big compost piles and have mulched the entire garden with grass cuttings. We have asked the elderly neighbor if we can use her garden space to plant sweet corn. Since it's right beside our garden and she isn't using it I figured it would be better if we can get corn in there and shade out the weeds than having a garden of weeds. We'll see--I might have just created a lot more work for myself.
Part of the many seeds I started in the garage (in egg cartons)
Transplanting to yogurt cups and the like--I kept costs to a minimum.
Transplanting the tomato plants to the garden
My sugar snaps--the first plants to come up in the garden!
I will post more pictures soon. I need to figure this blogging thing out . . . I still don't know how people make theirs look so beautiful.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Psalm 62
This was part of my Bible reading today and spoke so loudly:
To the choirmaster: according to Jeduthun. A Psalm of David.
62 For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.
from him comes my salvation.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.
3 How long will all of you attack a man
to batter him,
like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
4 They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in falsehood.
They bless with their mouths,
but inwardly they curse. Selah
to batter him,
like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
4 They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in falsehood.
They bless with their mouths,
but inwardly they curse. Selah
5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
9 Those of low estate are but a breath;
those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
they are together lighter than a breath.
10 Put no trust in extortion;
set no vain hopes on robbery;
if riches increase, set not your heart on them.
those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
they are together lighter than a breath.
10 Put no trust in extortion;
set no vain hopes on robbery;
if riches increase, set not your heart on them.
11 Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
12 and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
according to his work.
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
12 and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
according to his work.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Back to reality . . . .
We visited Washington for a week and now I'm back to reality. Going to Bethel's ladies retreat was balm for my soul. I talked more than I've talked in my life. I'm sure of it. But I didn't care--I was catching up on all the female connections I haven't experienced in the last 6 months. Then after returning from the retreat I was able to visit more friends. Ahhhh! So great and nice!
And today I felt like I was slapped in the face again. Or more like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Sunday's are so hard. I miss my church family so much. This transition is even harder than before I believe. God is calling us to some ministry here, but we haven't found it quite yet. Or the next pastor that our church hires might help define that for us. But I hate to wait that long . . . because I'm not sure I can wait. Waiting on God is hard. He has something for me but it's not clear. And that's hard, too.
Since I'm Type A I would just like to fix this problem. Put it on my checklist and solve it and move on. But it's not that type of problem. This is a time issue and a God issue. (The latter really being the cause of the former, right?) I will wait on the Lord . . . . this might be good for me.
And today I felt like I was slapped in the face again. Or more like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Sunday's are so hard. I miss my church family so much. This transition is even harder than before I believe. God is calling us to some ministry here, but we haven't found it quite yet. Or the next pastor that our church hires might help define that for us. But I hate to wait that long . . . because I'm not sure I can wait. Waiting on God is hard. He has something for me but it's not clear. And that's hard, too.
Since I'm Type A I would just like to fix this problem. Put it on my checklist and solve it and move on. But it's not that type of problem. This is a time issue and a God issue. (The latter really being the cause of the former, right?) I will wait on the Lord . . . . this might be good for me.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Praise Harmonica
Our church has been advertising an upcoming concert for the last few weeks. Since they've been pushing it pretty hard I decided I better check out the guy who is coming. So I looked up 'Buddy Greene' on iTunes. One of his albums is titled 'Praise Harmonica'. No joke.
Do people really listen to stuff like that?? And pay money for a ticket?
We are even teaming up with one of the high school choirs and they are going to sing along with him. Some days I think I have moved to a foreign country.
Napoleon Dynamite is real. I'm living it.
Do people really listen to stuff like that?? And pay money for a ticket?
We are even teaming up with one of the high school choirs and they are going to sing along with him. Some days I think I have moved to a foreign country.
Napoleon Dynamite is real. I'm living it.
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